Thursday, March 12, 2009

It's a hard knock life

For some reason, it just seems like life is hard lately. I'm tired all the time and so I'm crabby all the time. That carries over to my kids. A LOT! You know the old saying, when momma ain't happy, ain't no one happy? Well, it is really true in this case. And that makes me sad.

I want to be that momma that the girls look back at and smile when they think of the fun we had together. The awesome things that they learned from me and the memories we shared together. Today I said, "It's cold outside." And 3 year old Lilla said, "That's because the temperature dropped." Huh???

She then proceeded, of course, to ask me how a temperature drops. I was like, um, mumbling something about barometric pressure...wind from the North...Williard Scott anyone? Yeah, clearly she understood every word.Little Miss Anna is now 12 weeks old and I just think, where could those 12 weeks have gone? Did I stop to breathe it in for even a moment? It barely seems like it. When the peanut was this young I was with her every second, loving and hugging and rubbing baby oil all over the little crevices. Anna has had like 2 baths. OK, not 2, but you know what I mean! She just doesn't get that same attention and I'm wondering if she doesn't feel loved like Lilla did. She looks at me so desperately wanting my attention and I've got my mind on 10 other things and she doesn't get it.
Sorry this post is so scattered...just too much on my mind. Too much to do. Maybe I need an internet break. Take care of my kids...refocus...and go to sleep now.

How are things with you?

3 comments:

Noah and Ryders Mommy said...

Precious, precious pictures, Amy! I am SO SURE your girls know how much you love them, you are such a good Mommy how could they not? Anna is so little she probably really enjoys taking it all in, learning everything around her. I will tell you from my experience with Ryder and Noah that Ryder mostly chilled out and watched and fell inlove with Noah's every move. Now Ryder is his little shadow. Anna will probably do the same with Lilla. Don't be too hard on yourself!!! You're a great Mom who has done an awesome job with these two gorgeous girls!
(can't believe she's already twelve weeks!lol)

love ya friend!!

Carrie said...

Hey girl, don't be so hard on yourself!!! Everyone I know that has more than one child feels the exact same way as you. And that 2nd (and 3rd...etc) child is just fine.

Is there anyone you can get to watch the kids so you can take a nap? I would so do it if I lived there! I'm tempted to drive over there anyway. LOL

Get some much deserved rest.

Cyndi said...

Going to two kids is such a different change than having your first. Don't try to compare what you did with your first because you are not able to do that now- and thats okay! Get some time to yourself and then some time alone with both of them individually and then some time alone with you husband. I know your girls will look back and remember all the good times that you had together!