A little over a week ago we headed down to Tennessee for the second time in just over a few months. Unfortunately, not to enjoy the state we have grown to love, but again for my, in very ill health, father. His wife had mentioned some symptoms that were very concerning to us so we made some reservations, took the dog to my in-laws, packed up the car and drove the, what normally is 6 hours, but when you have kids, much longer, journey to get there.
We got there Saturday evening and dad kept insisting he was fine and wanted at least one day to enjoy the kids. So, we told him we'd be back in the morning and, after church, to the hospital we would go. Saturday night brought many problems so church was skipped and off to the hospital, after much prodding, we went.
Once we got there we were shocked to find out just how sick dad was. His kidneys had shut down, his potassium through the roof and his heart slowed to a very dangerous rate. The doctor informed us he had been just hours away from dieing, had we not brought him in.
At that time we extended our reservations and did all that we could, picking up things from the house, talking to the doctor, making sure things were taken care of that needed to be. We were honestly happy that we were able to do something, but of course had to go back eventually as work beckons and money runs out.
Dad is now back at home, and he is feeling the slightest bit better, by the way.
But, I digress, yesterday I picked up a mail to find a note from a small town we had been in in TN. It was a ticket. Somehow I had kind of rolled through a turn on a red light, which now I know is illegal, and they had caught it on film.
When I first opened it, I was so mad. I just couldn't believe how God would be punishing me when I had gone down there to do good. Was God real? Didn't He love me enough to not have something like that happen? I was so angry and upset. I even kept imagining ways to get out of it. Playing scenarios in my mind.
Immediately following this outburst I had started reading the Biblical counseling book we are assigned to for class. As I'm reading about restoring people to God's will and God's work, I started thinking about this situation.
I suddenly realized how foolish I had been. First of all, I broke the law. So, I got a ticket. But like any sin, we want to push blame on others, not take responsibility and do what we can, sometimes to the point of killing, to hide it. How could I even suggest that God did not love me because he allowed me to get a ticket for breaking a law? That is honestly, blasphemy against a God I say I love.
So, the check is in the mail. And, more importantly, this lesson is in my heart. Thank you Lord, for loving me enough to teach it to me.