My heart

It's been a million years since I've blogged.

Summer has turned to Autumn.

So we went to the Smokey Mountains.

Where our hearts are always home.

My husband took a much needed break.

To see the changing of the leaves.

They were stunning.

And decided to never go back again this time of year.

It was beautiful, yes, but the busiest time of year. Who knew?

We went on hikes.

And spent copious amounts of time in a car.

We took deep breaths as we let our kids, literally, run up the side of a mountain.

We watched our two year old take in all that was amazing in her mind. "Mama, mama, MOUNTAIN!!"

We got to have sharks swim just inches above our heads.

We mooed out the windows at cows and maaaaaaed at the goat we couldn't help but name Billy.

And my two year old rode her first roller coaster and couldn't get enough!

We got to do a lot of hands on homeschooling.

And tried repeatedly to get a family picture. Oh my.

My 5 year old made up songs about Jesus for my dad.

I saw my brother for the first time in a year and a half.

My children fell in love with him.

My heart melted.

I snapped a picture of my husband and I on a hike.

We look happy.

My heart smiled.

Then Sunday came and we had to say good-bye to our beloved Tennessee.

Indiana was calling us home again.

These are the moments

These are the moments,

I know heaven must exist

These are the moments

I know all I need is this

These are the moments

I thank God that I'm alive

These are the moments

I'll remember all my life

I have all I've waited for

And I could not ask for more

Excerpt from Edwin McCain's song, I could not ask for more

Thankful Thursday

The last few days have been very difficult for me. I've been unusually tired and kind of grumpy, so I thought I'd join in thankful Thursday this week to remember to count my blessings. Actually, not just count my blessings but to take the time to actually be grateful.

I am truly thankful for my husband. He works so hard, is always worn down when he comes home and still takes time to put the girls in the bath and to bed. He prays with them and over them and tells my 4 year old an original story every night at bedtime. He works with the kids at church twice a week and makes time for his parents. I definitely married up. :) Michael is a good man.

I am so thankful for Lilla, my 4 1/2 year old. She is silly and smart, she's a thinker and a fighter, she's strong willed and tender hearted, she loves the Lord and can memorize scripture like no other 4 year old I know. She is musical and artistic and is always impressing me with the thoughts that she shares. Lilla is a gift.

I am so thankful for my Anna. She is an almost 2 year old ball of energy. She keeps me on my toes and our family laughing. She is curious and mechanical, a giggler and a screamer, she let's nothing stand in her way and often overpowers Lilla. Then she follows it up with the sweetest hugs and pats you ever got. Anna is a treasure.

What are you thankful for in your family members?

Want to participate too? Go to http://womentakingastand.blogspot.com/ and join in!

Disney

A little over a week ago, we went to Disney World for the week.

Something not at all like us.

We never take vacations.

This year we did.

And, I can't say we were disappointed.

We had fun on a Safari.

And having breakfast with princesses.

And hugging Mickey.

And kissed Donald on the nose.

Seeing a Broadway type production.

And shot down the bad guys.

And spent a lot of time trying to cool off.

And finally saw The World.

Lions and Tigers and Bears, Oh my!

We have a season pass to our local zoo.

It's a smaller zoo, but it's clean.

It's easy to navigate.

It's a perfect place to spend a day with friends.

And since we have a pass, we can just stay a short time and not feel like we need to get our money's worth.

So we go a lot.

And bring PB&J's to enjoy in the garden.

And visit our new friends, the butterfly's.

We love our zoo, can you tell?

Let Rest

This weekend my sister and I met up with a childhood friend of ours. We went shopping, laughed, and of course, told stories of when we were kids. Isn't that a requirement for when you are with old friends?

My memories are much more vague, as I've realized more and more lately. Very little from childhood is concrete in my mind. The reason for that is not quite clear, although it is possible that it has been a defense mechanism to block out a particularly difficult time in my life.

As my sister and friend reminisced, and I listened with intrigue at the narratives that had occurred over the those years, the stories surrounding me, I barely knew. Like it was a different person they were speaking of. Somewhat like watching a movie you saw once many, many years ago and were not that familiar with.

My sister was particularly troubled over a childhood prank that my friend and I had pulled on her. Again, a very vague memory, if one at all. As I sit and listen to her get progressively more upset as the story went on, my hope was something I had read from CS Lewis many years ago, "Let the past rest, but let it rest in the sweet embrace of Christ."

I love my sister and don't want to see her distressed, so, I sincerely hope she can.

And, if you dear friend, are equally troubled over something that may have happened a decade ago, or maybe an hour ago, my hope for you is rest in Jesus too.

Yesterday, Today

Yesterday I was in a hospital room waiting for you to be born.
Today you are sitting up by yourself.

Yesterday I heard a small cry for the first time.
Today I blew on your tummy and got big belly laughs.

Yesterday I was handed a newborn diaper for your first change.
Today, you are in size 4 and growing all the time!

Yesterday you wrapped your little hand around my finger.
Today you are grabbing everything in sight!

Yesterday we became a family of four.
Today it seems we have always been.

Yesterday I fell in love with you, my little Anna.
Today, I'd do it all again!

Happy Six Month birthday, my little lovey! Thank you for bringing so much joy to our lives!

Happy New Year!

Our family wishes yours the happiest of New Years in 2009!!

I let her

While at a labor day party this weekend the kids were running around the yard, being kids and having fun. One of my nieces, pretty close in age to the peanut, was kicking the soccer ball around with another older niece. I could see the peanut chasing them around the yard, wanting to get in on the game too. They seemed oblivious to her as she went from one spot to another trying to be a "part" of it all. Suddenly I noticed her stop and kind of look down as if she just felt excluded and didn't know what to do.

My natural instinct was to get up and say, "Include her too please!!", but I didn't. I sat and sadly watched her try to figure it out on her own. My heart broke as I sympathized with those feelings of hurt and exclusion. I didn't want her to experience any of that, not yet. I let her though.

I let her because I know I cannot protect her forever. I let her because I cannot always jump in and be her Saviour. I let her because I know she is going to have to grow up at sometime and there is going to be a lot of rejection in her life. I let her because there is injustice in our world that she is going to have to face on a daily basis in her life and I want her to know how to. I let her because I love her and want her to become a strong woman who can take care of herself when the time comes. I let her go in one small way.

And then that night, I gave her an extra hug or two and I let her know that she is loved.

It is well with my soul

Erika (my sister) and I with Bossy and the girls, Nov. 2006

Yesterday we returned from our 7 day trip to Florida to see my grandma (affectionately called Bossy) one last time. Today we got a call that she had passed this morning. I am, of course, sorrowful at the passing of my Bossy that I really loved, but it is a joyful sorrow, bittersweet in so many ways. You see, I know in my heart that Bossy is with Jesus right now. I am not sitting here questioning it or trying to make myself feel better by saying it, it is a truth I am sure of.

While my sister and I were visiting, Bossy was transferred to hospice so we had the opportunity to go back to the nursing facility to go through her things. We found an old autograph book there that will be a treasured possesion for the rest of our lives. Bossy was a member of the Salvation Army, even attending their training college, when she was a young woman. At that time their whole focusing was winning souls for Christ. These young men and women were sold out for Jesus and what they wrote in this book just took our breath away. It gave us a glance of who Bossy was as a young woman and her heart for Jesus.

Here are a couple of quotes some friends put in the book:

Just one life, 'twill soon be past, only what's done for Christ, will last.

An archer is known, not by his arrows, but by his aim. May your aim always be souls and heaven. God will make your try a try-umph!

We only found out today that she did not communicate besides with grunts to anyone else but when my sister and I, who are the only Christians in our family, began to talk to her about Jesus, she spoke words to us. She told us she loved us. She sang the words to old hymns to us. She told us she wanted to be with Jesus. She told us that our girls were just precious. Over and over again, "Precious, precious, precious."

Thank you Bossy, for such precious memories.

Wordless Wednesday - Yeah for Grandpa!

Trick or Treat

We have had a busy last two weeks. Lots of playdates, a couple of trips to the doctor, a trip to the zoo and a super fun day of trick or treating have made me one tired mommy!! We have a real fun zoo program here where they do all kinds of cute kid things, like the bouncy house...

...trick or treating and pumpkin bowling. Since we have a zoo membership it's super nice that we can go there and just have a fun free day!

The weather here has been so cooperative. The peanut got to jump in a big old pile of leaves I raked for the first time too! She loved it! In fact, yesterday I opened the door for the dog, she walked right out and went right back to that pile of leaves. So cute! I got a couple of real cute shots that day too...

Then tonight it was dress up time. She was the cutest ladybug you ever did see! My sister's daughter wore the costume last year so it was free...my favorite price! And people could not stop oohing and ahhing over it. Adorable!!

My husband was Peyton Manning and the dog was dogzilla! Hilarious! I wish I had a better picture of it for you. You should google dogzilla costume and see it better. So funny!

The peanut got the worst ear infection of her life, which is saying a lot since she had one consistently for 6 months before she got tubes last year. I felt so bad for her as we had no idea and she was so fussy last weekend. We figured out the pressure must have been building and it finally just burst. It was horrible. So, she's on antibiotics (which have been burning her poor little tooshy to no end!) and ear drops now. Hopefully it will clear up soon!

I have a respiratory thing going on...what's new with that though. Nothing a little streroids can't help, right? :) Yep, they don't even mess with antibiotics, go for the strong stuff with me! LOL

One of my friends from Seattle was out last week (I lived there 4 1/2 years ago) and she has a daughter the same age as the peanut. It was fun catching up and was funny that it seemed like it was just yesterday that we had seen each other last! Aren't those the best kind of friendships?!?!

So that's what's going on in our lives...how are you doing?!?!