Sunday, April 27, 2008

Oh What a Night, Late December back in 2008, what a baby, what a night!

So yeppers, I'm preggo! Our due date is December 28th.

I know that most people wait until they are 12 weeks to announce it, but please, I've never been good at keeping secrets and this is so huge for us! I feel like I share so much of my life with all of you in my bloggy world, why not this too? I wanted to say thank you to you all too, as I know so many of you prayed for me when I shared with you back in March what a hard time I had turning 33 as I hadn't gotten pregnant again, that I only felt it fitting to say thank you and allow you to celebrate and share in our great joy!

Psalm 127:3 says, "Behold, children are a heritage from the LORD, the fruit of the womb is a reward." As I saw so many people around me getting pregnant I kept asking, "God, why don't you want me to have this blessing again?" I felt hurt and disappointed for so long. I mean, I want you all to know, I am so very thankful for my daughter, so please don't think otherwise. I am more than in love with that child. However, I longed to carry another child and experience the blessing again. I wanted to have a baby at my breast again, I wanted to feel the movement of a little someone in my belly and I desired for the peanut to have a sibling to share her life with. So, to see so many others being able to have children and it just not happening for us, I was jealous. I would be smiling on the outside but getting in my car and crying out to God on my way home. I was covetous and wanted what they had!!!

I didn't want to celebrate with them, I wanted them to hurt with me. Then, I began praying to God to give me joy for these women around me who wanted babies too and to celebrate with them instead of crying inside. I prayed for my heart to change, and it did. My jealousy did turn into joy. I was able to be honestly happy for them and want the best for them and their children. Then, funny thing, God opened up my womb again.

Coincidence? I honestly don't believe it is. In Romans 8:28, it says, "And we know that all things work together for good to them that love God, to them who are the called according to his purpose." and I believe that. I believe I needed to get through my own issues with jealousy an unkindness in my heart before God could move me forward.

I'm not saying this is why any woman who is struggling with infertility, this is the reasoning, but I can't help but believe that God has a plan and purpose for me, for my family and for this child for which we have prayed. And, I will never be the same again!


Elizabeth said...

Not to sound cliche' but been there, done that! Especially after I lost Grace and before I became pregnant with Samuel. I felt for you "sista" :)

I cannot express how much joy I have that you are expecting- and a CHRISTMAS BABY! :) Even though Christmas is such a busy time of yr I always thought it would be nice for me to have a child born near the celebration of the "most important child's" birth!

Congrats again and again Amy and please keep us posted on your progress :)

Cyndi said...

I am so happy for you and your family. Sometimes we just have to trust in God's timing, but that can be so hard! Thank you for this great testimony and example!

Becoming Me said...

Congratulations! What wonderful news

Christine said...

For me, it's having faith, and to trust God has a special plan for each one of us, and that all things will reveal themselves in his time. Which, I am kind of getting more impatient the older I get, so it's harder for me to be at peace and wait for his plan to unfold.
I am SO HAPPY for you!! Congrats again.

Mommy Mechanics said...

Just browsing and came across your blog. Great news. Congratulations to you and your family!

Anonymous said...

Congrats on your wonderful new little love!

amy and kids said...

I followed your blog from a link on Carole's blog and just wanted to say congrats! I have experienced the frustration of infertility all three times we have tried to get pregnant, it took 18 months, 16 months, and a little over a year to conceive. It so wonderful to hear that God has blessed you again! I wish you all the best for a healthy pregnancy and baby!